It took me nearly 2 years after my sober date to find peace with everything that happened to me in my past. It was hard and trying. It took the efforts of writing and becoming completely engulfed in my work and the want to help people. People constantly push me and accuse me, hurt me, and anything they can to make me quit. What they don't know is I have found joy in my work. They cannot stop me!
I get very frustrated very easily. I have had to re-teach myself over and over to just take a breath so I don't say anything I would regret. It definitely is hard in a world full of stress.
Today for example at work, I had to work at a different location but also keep up with my own office. I thought everything was fine until I came back to my office. The amount of work and people waiting for me then the demands from multiple people to do multiple things right away.. I started getting mad. I hadn't had my lunch break so I took it and went and laid in the tanning bed and took a breather. When I returned though, the workload was still there. I busted it out quickly then dealt with a different problem that turned out with a good laugh and a little bit of craziness. .the good kind. Plus it made time go by. Yay!
I have had the unfortunate mishap to have cyber met people who took the self love concept and turned themselves into egotistical monsters. It is really sad if you ask me. For one person to go from such self hate, to acceptance, then jumping into completely being obsessed with themselves. ..you just have to pity them. We as people are made to love, we are made to envy, we are made to hate.. but we should have never been made with the ability to become hopelessly in love with ourselves.
I have been called jealous, envious, a liar, a stalker, and so much more and this is by ONE person who has underwent being a depressed sad person, so a self obsessed attention sucker who is also a blogger on addiction. I only write this because I have been accused of faking accounts and stalking this person to talk mean about them. This never happened from me! This person is so self absorbed she can't possibly imagine that anyone in the world would disliked her blog other than ME. if I was truly that mean of a person I would out them publicly and ruin their literary future with exposure, but I am not that person. I have self love and kindness to others. I am NOT obsessed with myself enough to do such a thing. I just want the lies and the hatred, the self obsession to end.
My words of advise on this to everyone. .. don't treat people like they are beneath you. Don't assume everyone wants to be you. Just because maybe you do get attention and followers who glam you up doesn't mean you are incapable of being disliked. Don't let ignorance and misunderstanding of self love go to your head.
I definitely cannot say my life is easy. I don't walk around talking like my life is simply peachy and the world farts strawberries and unicorns. . No life has rough points, sometimes tidal waves. That is what makes life challenging. If you can't admit your faults and frustrations, then you will never get over them.
