Thursday, June 5, 2014

Lies to cover lies

It is sad how much I used to lie. It started when I was little and I would steal toys from my friends. I would tell my mom I found them or they let me have it. I was a thief and then I lied about it. In Jr high and high school I so desperately wanted friends and to be liked that I made up random bullshit to impress people. Some bought it but some started bullying me because they knew I was lying. As an adult I lied often to my now ex husband. I would lie about how much money I spent on groceries so I could go shopping. . I lied about having job interviews so I could go meet up with my husband now.. I would lie about everything.  This situation was different.  I lied for freedom.  I wasn't allowed to have friends unless he picked them, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere unless I took the kids, even if he was staying home.. I wasn't allowed to do anything unless he approved. . So there is different uses for lying. All lying is not right, especially if it is used to hurt someone. I used it for fun, then for friends, then for my sanity.. I don't HAVE to lie anymore. I have learned to operate without them. I spent so many years being called a liar that I feel guilty telling the truth sometimes but I am honest as I can possibly be and I feel so relieved!

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