Good Quotes

your constant begging is not gonna win him or her back!

The past is history

Blogging about addiction is essentially writing about my past for me.. It's a story being told.. I don't live in the past. I accepted it and let it go, I bring it up as a guide and nothing more.
The ones who speak of the past like it is something that will be of them again are the one's who need help. I see it all the time. They constantly hold on to what is gone. The manipulate and interrupt people's lives so they will always be apart of it.
Let the past go, especially if it is forever gone or you will only hurt yourself.

love shouldn't be obsession

People giving bad advice

I see this too often reading blogs from people who don't really know what they are talking about. They get all their advice from a book or website. Real life experience makes best advice.

Let's Focus

two faced jerks

Seeing myself in the future

You can't fix everyone

Be emotional

Finding out who we are

Showing my brain off

I used to feel like I was supposed to dumb everything down. Then again I was always told I wasn't smart by people who were supposed to be there for me.. I was afraid to face any problems or issues that I caused..and I caused a lot. I lied all the time to cover my butt or I would just say I didn't know any better.. I always knew better but didn't care. I just always figured, all the dumb girls got away with everything so if I wanted to do whatever I want without consequence then I had to dumb it down. That only worked so much. I sure do feel stupid for doing it. I don't know why anyone would want to be perceived as ignorant. I sure am not an unintelligent human. I have proved that and I don't plan to stop any time soon.

I know I am not the only one

This is totally off the usual topic but I felt like it was a good one.
I work a lot of long hours at a very boring job.. Makes my days go by slow and I usually leave with a headache. Monday I usually wake up annoyed. I'm sure many people feel this way, it's not just me. I am not putting my company down but I am honestly ready to move onto bigger and better things. The problem is, working over 50 hours a week doesn't allow time for job interviews. "Take a few days off and do it." Some have suggested. Ha! That isn't as easy as it sounds. With my company I feel like I have to be going out of town for a special reason or dying to take a full day off. It is kind of sad when you are given an amount of days to take off yet you feel guilty using them because there isn't anyone to take your place when you are gone. Is that fair? No. Life isn't fair, I know. I hear that all the time. Should I have to have an excuse to have a day off though? No. I should be able to ask off whenever I want if I have the days to use. My kids live in another state. I would really like to go visit them. I would need to take a Friday or Monday off though or it would be a rushed visit. Is asking for Friday or Monday off a good idea? No! Busy busy busy.. That is all I ever am. I am tired, achy, stressed, and down right annoyed with everything and everyone. Is that a healthy way to go about? No!
I am also in school.. Yes working 50+ hours, going to school, caring for my home and husband doesn't leave me an ounce of time for me. Is it selfish wanting a little me time? Weekends you say.. What about the weekend? I am so busy on the weekends catching up on everything I can't do during the week and trying to enjoy life just a little so that I don't strangle anyone.. Yes that is my whole entire weekend.. Busy busy busy. I know I am not the only one..
I have basically completely stopped working on my book.. Why? Time. No time for writing. Does that piss me off? In a huge way that I cannot describe. Do I have time for any kinds of engagements to go speak at or for updating my website, or for sitting down to help recoveries like I would like and was honestly planning for? You can guess what the answer is to that one but just in case you forgot...NO!
Yes I am frustrated, yes I am ranting, and yes it is causing a lot of rocks in my whole life plan, my job is, I mean. Do I need this job.. Yes of course, I have a car payment, I have child support.. I have financial needs. Do I need more money from my job? Who doesn't and anyone would say yes to that, but is it seriously a need or just a want. Mine is a serious need.. It is ridiculous and it frustrates me even more.
Maybe sooner or later I will find a little piece..

Being the problem

I know it is easier to point fingers rather than take any acceptance of your own personal problems. Everyone has flaws and sins.. Everyone feels hate, envy, and greed once in a while. People tend to immediately freak the hell out whenever someone openly critisizes them. Sometimes they have no idea what and who commited the act so they blame whoever they assume is behind it. They even go through the trouble of saying they hired people to find out it was you and that they track you on line not realizing all of those things are usually expensive and are not accurate. My husbands ex wife does this to me every time someone leaves negative comments on her blog. She automatically assumes it is me and that I am completely envious of everything she is, saying she has hired investigators to catch me and even saying she has tracked my IP address to my name which is NOT true because the internet is not in my name and when I track myself, it shows the city I live in and that is all. I feel she is nothing but a compulsive liar out to ruin her ex husbands relationship. I feel like she is so self obsessed that she WANTS me to be jealous and obsessed with her. All I can say is, grow up! I have better things to do than admire people like that. Sorry girl, you are WRONG!

Being your own best

Too many people stress and hurt themselves to be the best at everything. No matter what there will always be competition. It doesn't matter how successful you are and how unsuccessful the competition is or vice versa.. They are still competitors and there is always one that will outshine you eventually. As long as you can feel great at your own game then who cares who else you please. We don't have to be people pleasers.. That is not what helping others and succeeding is all about. It is about what makes you whole and better in the end.

I am a lady

The life of the victimized lonely person

Being married more than once and my husband being married more than once in life sure brings in a thick pile of drama. I deal with a lot of crap.. I don't harass and accuse and point fingers but it sure happens to me. And they call me crazy? Hah! When you spend your time thinking of ways to put people down then act upon it, then turn and accuse them of doing it to you, then you're only making yourself look more desparate..

Lingering in the past

Using the past to tell a story is one thing. I do it.. I don't base my blogs off of my past.. I base it off of what was once a product and how to improve it. Using the past as leverage is a tool I see many codependancy bloggers use. They over use it like an obsession. The point of a codependancy blog is to educate and inspire. Use your story then educate and move along with it.. No point in constantly repeating yourself.

The overly obsessive attention whore

No more pity parties for me!

All I want in life...

I do this through my books. I do this through my blogs, and soon I will be doing this professionally once I graduate with my Master's, then my Ph.D in Psychology.. Then I will be paid and sought after for my few good words.. :)

Why making mistakes is good.

Feeling down?

Greatness

A past that paved my future..

This isn't my usual inspiring picture quotes that I usually produce. I felt a need to share. I am generally writing for my addict and former addicts, but this is a reach for me.

When I started Jr. High at a new school in a new place, I had hopes. I wanted to be a basketball player AND a musician. They were my two passions then. In 7th grade, I was the new odd ball kid, in a small rural school with people who grew up together. They were intrigued and many people wanted to talk to me. That is what excited me. I thought I was gonna be popular. Ya, I THOUGHT, key word there. Only a short period of time into playing basketball I was asked to choose, music or basketball, I couldn't have both. That was a hard decision, but my passion was ALWAYS music, and band I chose. That instantly crashed and burned my "popularity".
I was cast aside, into a shadow. Through my Jr. High and High School life I was picked on, bullied, made fun of, being pranked on.. I can't tell you how many times I would hide in the bathroom during certain classes that certain people were in because I wanted to hide from the whispers and pointing fingers. I would pretend to go to school but really hide up in the mountain on my parents land until they left for work because I was afraid to go to school and deal with those kids. I skipped school a lot.
I even tried fitting in. I tried out for Cheerleading and made the team. I had school spirit, yes I did! I don't think anyone else wanted me there though. While all the other girls were making friends and having fun, I still had to deal with the pranking and the hissing of little voices 2 steps behind my back in ears reach. There was even a time when a few popular girls told me that a cute popular boy really wanted to ask me out. I was skeptical, but inside I was really excited. Then by lunch, I find him laughing at me with the group of populars holding hands with the other girl named Becky in our class. Ya, that hit hard. I even was told on picture day that my make up was ugly and I looked like a hooker, minutes before camera. It's funny how cat eye make up is soooo popular now, but back then it was considered "hooker." Hmmmm. I was ahead of my time. I had to suppress a lot of tears all the time. I didn't really know what to do, it was either conform and be like them, or be myself. I wanted to be ME. Why was that such a bad thing? After I blew the next years cheer tryouts..I could have done better and made the squad no problem, I blew it.. I didn't care, I was done; I became more out-casted and freaky than ever before. This is when the piercing and hair dying began.
Girls in classes above me called me trash, freak, they made fun of me to my face. I NEVER said a word, never stood up to them, never showed emotion. I took it and reacted silently at home, alone in my room. I cut myself, I ripped up my clothes, I dyed my hair weird colors, I wore a lot of piercings, not all were real, some were.. I made new clothes, yes I made them.. I became the epitome of freaky goth chick and I liked it.
A girl in a grade below me threatened me. She never acted, but she threatened me.. a lot. I would have fought her if she tried. I was NOT afraid of her. It would have been a good fight. With all the anger and rage and my own toughness suppressed, it would have been messy. She would have paid dearly. No one ever acted on me, and boy did I want them too. I was a time bomb, ready to attack, just waiting for the first throw..no one ever gave me the pleasure, so there I remain, bottled in anger, ready to pop.
All up through my last days of high school, I was angry. There was nothing more in the world I was so desperate to escape that horrible place. I didn't care how. I knew I didn't want to go to college in that town, so I chose the Navy...until that was out the window, when I went off the deep end at 18, partying, drugs, and stealing. It wasn't until I was 27 when I went to college, and I was 29 when I realized that if it wasn't for the terrible past I had to deal with, that my future would be totally different. Who knows where I would be and it doesn't matter because now, I am somebody.. I got the hell out of there and will not go back, I am a published author, and a well known blogger.. ya that's me. That is who I am. Just that weird freak girl, who loved music more than people, who bottled her aggression and made bad choices. I am the girl who rose above it and became better, real, educated, and accomplished, and I am still going. I am unstoppable. Boy if they could see me now!

A beautiful life

We must not tell lies!

Remember the part in Harry Potter where the professor Umbridge has Harry write I must not tell lies and it etches the words into his skin? Can you imagine if that really happened to us? You know how many people would have that phrase on the back of their hand? Wow! Everyone has told a lie. Its ok, I know I have. It is how we learn and grow from it that makes us better. I know better now. I don't lie in my writing..never have. I tell it like it is. I don't lie for attention. Being an attention whore isn't something a true athur does. A true author craves sharing their stories and imagination for help and entertainment. If you use the writen word as a crutch and you can't live day to day without people's admiration, then you aren't doing something right. If you lie to make yourself look better, then you have already lost.
I see people lie about a whole lot of things.. How much money they make, what they do for a living, their past experiences, deceitful things.. Some even lie to themselves outwardly..claiming love and affection that isn't there. Its a mental problem they refuse to admit..

When I thought love wasn't real

What do you think about life?

Inspiration from sight

For a period I was so frustrated trying to figure out what to write about. I even set aside my book writing just because I had way too much going on to focus. My husband and I just recently returned home from a fantastic vacation in Montana and Wyoming. Just looking at things, the sights, the sounds smashed my stress and now I can think clearly.
I am one that is ALWAYS up for a road trip..whether it is somewhere local, a few hours away, or thousands of miles, travel is key to my inspiration. I highly recommend it if you can..

Karma, the worst comeback ever...

In order for Karma to exist there must be a little human action called in, who goes by the name, judgement, which we all know many people are good at..
Karma is a universal belief, and since when does the universe pass judgement? I don't believe it can since it is not human..
We humans use the word Karma whenever we are mad at people.. Its our favorite comeback when we really just have nothing else to say.. What goes around comes around right? Well that is a judgement..isn't judgement of others wrong? Who are you to decide who has done wrong to deserve to be slapped in the face? Just because feelings are hurt doesn't make you the judge, jury, and executioner. There is nothing in the world that is calculating our behavior and guarenteeing that Karma will get us. I don't wanna hear God either.. WE are responsible for our actions. When we make mistakes we pay for them.. When we hurt someone, there is consequences, it is called SCIENCE, duh! It is the law of human action or Praxeology. You cant just call out, Karma and feel like you have put someone in their place. Bad and good happen to ALL people. Just because you believe you are always good and doing right, doesn't mean you are exempt from the bad karma. We are humans, we do good and dumb things all the time. Yelling "karma will get you" is just going to make karma boomerang you right upside your head so look out!

Stay Lovely

Pretending to be tough

I know I may by now be sounding like a broken record.. Or like I am trying to get a point across to someone, it is because I am doing all of that. If you feel like you need to insult someone continuously in order to make yourself look or sound good, you may be getting positive results now but it will all backfire eventually.
I say what I need to say. The reason I am now doing it here is because I am sick of getting fake threats when I say it to them.. I am sure many of you deal with this. The only way to fix it is to stand up for yourself. If you hide behind others with desperation for attention and approval you are making nothing but a joke out of yourself. People who do this are of low character and are generally afraid to directly say anything to anyone. If you have a problem with someone, shouldn't you speak with THEM, and not everyone else? I know its hard.. I try to but it usually end up turning into the other person calling names and saying you need therapy then going behind your back to loved ones claiming you arecrazy.. This my dear friends, is the definition of a jealous obsessive person who cannot accept the slightest amount of crtitism without playing the infant aged blame game. 
Yes I am being a hypocrit right now, but I need to make a point and unfortunately this is the easiest way. I am also extending a little advise ontop of my rant. If you hide behind people acting like you are trying to help people but are actually attacking someone, then YOU my friend need to man up! You know who you are and if you need me to once again tell you personally, I would be glad to but if you cannot learn to shut up and listen and learn and automatically start with the threats and name calling, then it will be over. The game has to stop now!

Being your best, no matter what

Why the constant drama?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T..

Do you want to be respected? Of course you do. If you say no then you're full of it. I used to sit and say, I don't care what anyone thinks about me.. Well my dear friends, that was a LIE. People say, you shouldn't care, but you should to an extent. Earning respect from others requires some form of caring what others think. Duh! Having respect and appreciation for others is what makes good character. For those that walk all over and use people to get things in life, they don't deserve respect, they dont deserve appreciation. They deserve pity. For some reason they get it because it is the guilt they instill in others that makes people give to them. All I can say to people like that is, Karma is a bitch.

Live, Dream, Imagine

I am a dreamer... I spend a lot of my days being creative and thinking. As a writer it makes the best stories whether they are real or make believe. The key is to never attack someone with your imagination. Let your mind create happy peaceful thoughts and you will always smile!

To be successful

Success can be used in many different situations.. Whether it is used in recovery, work, family, life.. It all has a different meaning. In order to achieve it you have to believe in it!

Go where the heart wants

For the last few days I have been speaking with a man in London about his issues and depression. His wife of 9 years tells him to leave all the time.. She refuses to be intimate with him, she refuses to sleep in the same bed with him. He has the same feelings, just so much hatred between the two is heartbreaking. The glue that holds them is they have a 3 year old son for which he loves and adores dearly. He is terrified to not see his boy everyday, therefore he fights to stay. Although he is sad and has terrible self esteem, he stays for the boy.
I tell him over and over, that he has to do what the heart desires, but he must also consider himself. It is not a selfish thing to do. Your health depends on it. I tell him what difficulties will lay ahead with moving out of their home and that I understand how difficult it is to lose your children and start over. Although it is hard and I miss them everyday, my deathly anger and depression is gone. I marked out the factor that was destroying me, my ex.
You cannot force yourself in an unhappy life for the sake of anyone. You will never lose your kids forever, it will be hard but we as humans adapt and grow. It hurts but depression and pain hurt them too. Live, love, and be!

Laughter makes the soul feel good

The successful are dreamers

Why shouldn't YOU be happy?

Don't screw with your life

Do you think taking handouts and partying is going to make a happy life? Maybe for a short time but eventually we all have to grow up. There is a point when you have to stop expecting everyone to pay your way while you reap the benefits. Eventually you will have to get a job, go to work everyday, pay your own bills, and live your life. Living a carefree life is great if YOU have earned It ..not let someone else earn it for you and work hard while you sit and smile like an idiot bragging about how good you have it. Life requires dedication, skill, and a good ambition that works. To truly be dealt a full healthy life you have to make it for yourself. Stop expecting it to be served on a platter...

The direction of happiness

Depression is real

In light of the passing of Mr. Robin Williams I would like to reflect on the disease of depression. For anyone who takes this lightly let me tell you, it is not a joke or just something you can just brush off. Depression is deadly. Depression is painful and damaging. I have been stricken with the disease and wanted to die because of it. I thought I had no one, I was always ignored and looked down upon because of the way I acted. Many people hurt those who are depressed because they don't understand. Just because someone looks nice and smiles doesn't mean they aren't depressed. It is an inward demon that tortures until it consumes. If you are depressed, don't ignore it, please talk to someone.

I protect my assets, do you?

For those who interfere constantly, make passive snide remarks about you, and constantly blame YOU for their losses, then it only means they are so pissed off at you because you have what they want. Don't be upset. You should feel good knowing you have something amazing.

A Lesson Learned

Give someone a compliment

Keep it up!

The automatic blame game

Automatically accusing people of having mental problems for picking on you is wrong. Sure, bullying is WRONG! But just assuming they have problems is your own passive way of bullying them. Some people DO have issues but then there are those who are just mean natured. It doesn't mean they need help.
If what people say bothers you so much to the point that you spend time pointing fingers and accusing then you also may be the one with issues that need sorting. But for those who falsely accuse for their own benefits are the ones with the real problem.
Don't accuse people. Don't go behind their back and tell everyone else your false information because it makes you look BAD. Then you are doing more damage than you think.

Stop with the labels already

What are your qualifications? Do you claim to be more than what you are? Somr experience is necessary but it takes a lot of practice and work to be considered an expert in your field. Hard work and honest value is key. If you do it for the title then you don't deserve the title. As a writer and blogger I see many like me who claim to be famous in the same field, claim to be counsellors, and experts with little experience. Facebook likes and Twitter followers in high numbers don't make you an expert. Gain knowledge and grow.

Stop accusing

Working in the blogging industry you end up with someone who wants to accuse you of stealing their work or someone who wants to bring you down and usually jealousy is the culprit. Some even take it to the level of making up accusations and having fake proof. It is when they go to people you know and tell them you are jealous of them and that you

are the one who has issues, just makes you look even more ignorant.